I pride myself on being a Phoenix, able to rise from the ashes over and over again. I actually took the name Phenix after a series of deaths and rebirths that I experienced in this lifetime. It just kept happening and so I felt to name this phenomenon in my life.
I do a lot of studying of Christ Consciousness and the life, death and resurrection of our messiah.
My current understanding of it all is that death is actually when we choose to separate from our divine godself love, forget who we are, and incarnate on this planet. Life after death is the process of returning to that divine love or waking up inside our bodies.
Death and resurrection themes are everywhere.
I see a death phase as a segment of time during which your ego or identity is lost, often due to pain, misfortune or discord. At least that is how it feels to me when I am being asked to let go of my attachments and unhealthy behaviors.
In reality, a death phase could be seen as a gift, an opportunity, a blessing, or a divine teaching.
In my experience of these times, life feels dark. They often feel lacking in love and I have often attributed these times to a broken heart. Dark days of the soul. I have from time to time found myself in these spaces surrounded by my own shadow, feeling disconnected from miracles and the divine. It’s all I can do to chase the tendrils of light that come to me in the form of friends, the occasional affirmation, and surprise gifts. It’s these tendrils of light and catching them like the string on a balloon that has seen me through these dark days.
The dark side of a yin yang. All black with that tiny dot of light. It’s like that.
At this point in my life, I have gone through enough of these dark times to recognize them for the spiritual death that they are. I know that I am deep in the medicine of spirit and often I sink into that dark oblivion with my middle fingers pointed to the sky angry at god for yet another painful death in this life.
No, I am not always graceful or filled with reverence. I have a fiery temper and when my old reality and life that I thought I loved is crashing down around me, I sometimes get pissed. I know, super spiritual right?
Even though I know, I truly know, that on the other side of a dark age is a golden one. It never fails. I always experience a golden age after a dark one. An age of miracles, expansion, epic love, adventures and miraculous blessings of abundance.
Our dark days are a form of spiritual cleansing. They strip us of our former identities, show us our slimy, stinking shadow, and we fall through the self made cracks in our foundation. Sometimes the only thing left is a weeping shell of your former self. In these experiences, the ones where we feel like we are losing everything in a fire that we created, the truth is all that remains.
We get to rebuild from a purified place. Everything just crumbled and all that is left is the truth of who you are. Your divine essence. The resilience of your spirit.
This process of spiritual alchemy is what Jesus was showing us through his crucifixion. He was projected on, turned against, betrayed, abused and then hung in public to die in front of everyone.
And you thought your dark day death phase felt bad?
He came to show us the resurrection that comes from allowing ourselves to die. Even when hundreds or possibly thousands of people had a false view of who Jesus of Nazareth was, the truth of who he was is what rose again.
And through his death and rebirth he ascended into the realms of heaven and so will we. It is our destiny.
For every dark day of death there is the gift of rebirth.
The light side of the yin yang will come and then you can spend your days chasing the tendrils of shadow darkening the light until your next dark day is upon you.